Rebuilding on Shaky Ground: Embracing Change and Reinvention

Because you have to.

What happens when the life you built no longer fits?

I grappled with that question for longer than I’d like to admit. The growing unease of being an Ivy-trained, North American woman working in countries and cultures that weren’t my own, making decisions that the norms allowed—but that didn’t always feel right. The creeping doubt about whether my work was actually making a difference or leading to any real, lasting change. The quiet but persistent feeling that I wanted something else, even though I had no idea what. So I stayed on course, pushing off the decision again and again.

Then, on my 39th birthday, I sent in my resignation. I left the NGO and development aid sector—the career I had spent 15 years building. Even though I knew it was time, it still felt like the rug had been pulled out from under me. And honestly? It felt like failure. Like I couldn’t “make it” in the life I had once worked so hard for.

Deciding to do something different—to be someone different—is hard. I’ve learned that transition isn’t failure. It’s evolution. We’re meant to grow and change.

Natural Moments for Reinvention

There are points in life where change feels inevitable, whether we choose it or not:

• Midlife and aging – That quiet but nagging voice asking, “Is this it?" "Is this what I’m doing for the next four decades?” Wanting to make space for something new.

• Layoffs and industry disruptions – No one is exempt. Whether it’s tech, government, or another sector, so many people are finding themselves forced to reassess.

• Entrepreneurial pivots – The business you built no longer fits who you are or what you want.

• Personal life changes – Divorce, loss, parenthood, becoming an empty-nester, moving cities or countries—all of these impact our work and identity.

These moments make us define what truly matters. They remind us that our values and priorities aren’t fixed—they shift. And that’s more than okay - it's the way it should be.

So, Why Is Change So Hard?

Our brains are designed to seek stability and keep us alive. Change can feel like a threat, triggering fear and resistance. That resistance often shows up as:

• Worrying about what others will think – Psychological theory says that when we change, others struggle to adjust their expectations, leading to tension. The Looking-Glass Self reminds us that our identity is shaped by how we think others see us.

• Fear of letting go – Change often means leaving behind something familiar, even if it no longer serves us.

• Internal conflict – We like consistency in our thoughts, beliefs, and actions. When they shift, it feels uncomfortable.

But Here’s the Good News

Our brains aren’t just built for stability—they’re also built for adaptation. Resistance is often just an subconscious reaction. With the right conditions—clear benefits, a sense of psychological safety, and gradual exposure—change becomes possible.

Whatever transition you’re facing, know this: Change isn’t easy, but staying stuck is harder. You’ve done hard things before. You can do this too.

How to Make Change Easier

Set yourself up for a smoother transition by creating the right conditions.

• Acknowledge fear as part of growth – Resistance doesn’t mean stop. It means you’re stepping outside your comfort zone. It’s okay to grieve the identity you’re leaving behind. It served you well.

• Know your ‘why’ – Get clear on your values, your purpose, your vision. When you see how the change aligns with what matters to you, it’s easier to move forward.

• Make it less risky – Test ideas, look at your business financial model, build a financial buffer, take on freelance work, or start a side hustle before going all in.

• Try on your new identity – If you were an NGO leader and now you’re a consultant, start calling yourself one. Say it in your head. Tell people. The more you do, the more natural it feels.

• Manage the emotional rollercoaster – Surround yourself with others who’ve made similar shifts. Find mentors, join one of our events, get a coach or therapist (or both). Celebrate your progress—and don’t keep moving the goalpost.

A Few Reminders That Help Me Stay Flexible

As I navigate this next phase of my life, I still remind myself that growth is an ongoing process. Here’s what helps me stay open to change:

• Identity shifts are normal – We outgrow roles and labels. Instead of asking “Who am I now?” try “Who am I becoming?”

• You have permission to change – Staying in a misaligned situation isn’t stability—it’s stagnation. And stagnation leads to discontent, burnout, and poor mental health.

• The unknown feels scary, but it’s where growth happens – Transition often feels like free-fall before a new foundation is built. You don’t have to have all the answers yet.

• Curiosity over fear – Instead of seeing uncertainty as a threat, try asking, “What’s next for me?”

Whatever transition you’re facing, know this: Change isn’t easy, but in the long-run staying stuck is harder. You’ve done hard things before. You can do this too.